TWBFOEOBBBACIF
by girl-over-bored
Summary: (TWBFOEBKBHITC)THE WEIRD BASHING FIC OF EVERYONE ON BEYBLADE BECASUE BASHING ANIME CHARCTERS IS FUN: Need I say more?
1. chapter 1

GOB: YAY!!! A new fic from me and this time it's humor!!! This is completely based on an msn conversation I had with Lychee Fairy.  
  
Kai: You mean that annoying twit who took a stupid 'Which Beyblade Character Are You?' quiz and came up as the pervert Enrique?  
  
GOB: KAI!!!!!!!!! JADE IS NOT LIKE ENRIQUE!!!!!! THE TEST LIED FOR HER BUT TOLD THE TRUTH FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kai: Who did you get?  
  
GOB: You: ^_^  
  
Kai: O.o Whatever... GOB doesn't own Beyblade...  
  
GOB: What?  
  
Kai: How the hell could you turn up as me....  
  
GOB: FATE!!!!!!!  
  
Kai: ..............  
  
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NOTE:*** This will just be a collection of very short stories that bash everybody! BUT KAI!!!!!!!!!!! NONONONONONO KAI BASHING!!!!!!!***  
  
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***TYSON AND DRAGOON***  
  
One day Dragoon got sick and tired of Tyson and decided to run away. He packed all his stuff up, and floated to the nearest highway, where he tried to hitchhike. Unfortunately, he was floating there when all of a sudden, he jumped onto the road and got run over with a truck. He did this because Tyson's stupidity rubbed off on him. He died and no one really cared.  
  
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***RAY AND DRIGGER***  
  
One day, Ray was walking on a mountainside. When he suddenly say a huge, white mouse. Ray decide he would chase the mouse. The mouse ran over a cliff, and Ray followed. Drigger just watched his master fall to his death, then shrugged and floated away. Drigger decided he would keep Dizzi company in Kenny's laptop. After a while though he got bored and started to hack into the World Bank and started spending all the money in there on fish. He lived happily.  
  
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***MAX AND DRACIEL***  
  
One day, Max found sugar and went on a major sugar high. He just suddenly become a total and complete tree hugger and decided to set all the animals free. Once he let the zoo animals free, and the pets in pet shops free, and the pets in peoples homes free, he decided to set Draciel free into the ocean. Unfortunately there was one problem... Draciel couldn't swim............  
  
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***KENNY AND DIZZI***  
  
A while after Drigger moved in with Dizzi, problems started happening. You see, after Drigger started hacking, he naturally got caught, and Dizzi and Kenny were taken away to a maximum security prison. Well, only Dizzi escaped and is now living as a refugee in a very rural part of Africa. She is doing tribal dances and singing the blues. Meanwhile, Drigger, still in the laptop, moved to Hawaii and is currently living happily on all the stolen money.  
  
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***KEVIN AND HIS MONKEY-TYPE BITBEAST***  
  
Well, Kevin decided to go to mourn the death of his friend Ray, only he forgets about it once he sees the circus is in town. Once he gets to the circus, he is mysteriously kidnapped by the circus manager and is forced to live out the rest of his days as Kevinni, the Midget Monkey Tamer, only his bitbeast had had enough and ran away to the wild of Africa, only to be caught and put into a zoo. He is now currently sitting in a cage.  
  
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***MARIAH AND GALUX***  
  
Mariah decide to go to wherever most of this story is taking place and to mourn the death of her loved one, Ray. But while she was at his tombstone, alien invaders kidnapped her and held her for ransom. They all agreed on leaving the demands with Galux. But nobody paid the ransom, because nobody cared, and Akira sold Galux for her fur. Akira didn't really care about the fur or the money. She just didn't care.  
  
(Check my other fic for who Akira is)  
  
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***JOHNNY AND SALAMOLION***(sp?)  
  
One day, Johnny went to the park to play chess with the leader of his 'team', Robert. Unfortunately, he forgot which park he was supposed to meat Robert at. So he went to every park in the country. He got beaten up numerous times by numerous people, his hair mysteriously turned a bright, neon orange, he lost Salamolion. Salamolion was, in reality, with Drigger in Hawaii, living the good life. Johnny gave up looking for Robert and went home. As he passed the park by his house, he saw Robert. Johnny ran to greet him. Unfortunately, he was crushed by his house and all that remained were his ruby.... sneakers.  
  
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***ROBERT AND... ROBERT!!!!!***  
  
Robert... Well one day, Robert went to his couth barber to get a couth haircut on a couth day. Unfortunately for him, his barber moved to an uncouth area, the haircut was uncouth, and he forgot to change the day on his calendar, so it was an uncouth day. Robert, realizing this committed suicide... no one cared.  
  
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***ENRIQUE AND SOME STRANGE GIRL***  
  
Well, Enrique went out to the bar one night to see if he could pick up some ladies. When he got their, all the ladies were flocking around Kai, save for one girl, who immediately noticed Enrique and started flirting with him. Enrique couldn't see very well because he just got eye surgery and was still a little woozy. He started to talk with the girl and flirt. She asked him if he loved her, he said yes. She said prove it. He did. By giving her his bitbeast. She took it and 'accidentally' gave it to another girl, who gave it to Kai, who crushed it. Enrique started to get his sight back when the girl asked for a ride home. She drove his BMW as he chatted her up. Suddenly, she said "Bye pervert!", and jumped out of the car. Enrique fully regained his sight as he went over the cliff. The same cliff as Ray did.  
  
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GOB: Well, what did you think? Should I do more characters? Please review ! And remember all bashing was done in fun! Bye Byes. 


	2. chapter 2

GOB: I changed my mind. I will eventually bash Kai, when I run out of other characters!  
  
Kai: Finally getting off your lazy ass and updating?  
  
GOB: YUP ^_^ Even though it's only 5 people this time, I wanna update my new fic, Depth.  
  
Kai: ............ Whatever.  
  
George: What? Again??? Who the heck am I??? Oh well, GOB doesn't own Beyblade...  
  
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***LEE AND GALEON(sp?)***  
  
One day, Lee decided to explore the big, bad world on his own. So he went and packed all his belongings in a trunk. He then strolled out of his house and made his way into the forest. About a week later, he was broke and tired. He saw a pawn shop and got a brilliant idea! HE WOULD PAWN GALEON AND BUT STUFF!!!!! (GOB: LOL, looks like his light bulb burned out ^_~) He walked into the pawn shop and pawned off Galeon for five dollars. He went shopping at a local supermarket, only to find out that the money was counterfeit. He was hauled off to jail, and shared a cell with a serial killer. There Lee decided the big bad world was really just a small, cramped cell.  
  
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***GARY***  
  
Gary was bored. Lee had gone off to explore the big bad world, Mariah had been kidnapped, and Kevin was in a freak show somewhere. He decided to get a job. He went to a village only four blocks from where he lived, and got a job at a pawn shop. While he was working, he was suddenly overcome with an urge to eat metal. He saw this weird metal beyblade and swallowed it in one bite. He sat there for a while, then said thoughtfully, "Wouldn't it be funny if Gary just ate Lee's bey-thingy?"  
  
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***OLIVER AND THE GUY***  
  
Oliver was free for the weekend so he decided to go clubbing. He walked over to a club and sat at the bar, wondering what to do, when he heard a guy say, "Hey babe, wanna dance?" Oliver ignored him thinking he was talking to someone else. A second time, the same voice said, "Hello? Are you going to answer or what?" And once more, Oliver ignored, when suddenly he was spun around to face an angry guy. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM??? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME???" Oliver suddenly froze, as anger overtook his body. "I AM FREAKING NOT A FREAKING GIRL YOU FREAKING IDIOT! I'M A FREAKING GUY, YOU FREAKING MORON! NOW LEAVE ME FREAKING ALONE!" Oliver then went home and thought, "Phew, almost got caught there, hehe."  
  
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***MR. DICKINSON AND THE FURBY***  
  
Mr. Dickinson sat at his desk. In front of him was a blue furby. He sat there staring at the furby, when it suddenly started to cry. He immediately fed it by sticking his finger in it's mouth. The furby suddenly grew razor sharp teeth, and bit his finger off. It then started after his hand, then arm, and so on. Kenny went to pick up the paperwork he needed to get for the upcoming tournament. When he got there, all he saw was a little hat, and a blue furby. Kenny decided to take the furby with him, Mr. Dickinson would never notice. The next day, Kenny went missing and the policeman who found him took home a blue furby...  
  
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***EMILY AND THE COMPUTER GAME***  
  
Emily sat in front of the computer. She was playing a new computer game. It was very challenging. She sat in front of her computer, day in and day out for seventeen days. She missed training, school, eating, sleeping, showering (GOB: YUCK!) and lots of other things. Finally, Emily had to rush to make a bathroom trip. The moment she left, the other All Starz crowded around her computer to see what had been so interesting in her game. The screen was filled with: CANNOT OPEN FILE: PLEASE TRY AGAIN.  
  
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GOB: Well, there you go, short but sweet, just like me!!! (LOL, I'm only 5'3 at age 14 *sigh*)  
  
Kai: Review.  
  
GOB: Listen to him, review. 


	3. chapter 3

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GOB: I'm finally updating this!!!!! I know I haven't updated in forever, but I wanted to update Depth, Dangerous Memories, and Bladebreakers On Strike (joint-fic with Lychee Fairy - on her account - ), first.  
  
DEPTH AND DANGEROUS MEMORIES AND BLADEBREAKERS ON STRIKE HAVE ALL BEEN UPDATED!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE NEW CHAPTERS, DO SO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kai: You can stop now.  
  
GOB: Ok... I don't own Beyblade!  
  
Max: And remember, all bashing is done in good fun!  
  
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~*~ Tala And Wolborg ~*~  
  
It was around eleven pm, on a clear, cloudless night, that Tala "The Cyborg" Ivanov went missing, and all that was left of him was a lock of his red hair. The day started out normal enough, Tala went around, stole some bitbeasts, and generally was a typical Beyblade Bad Guy, or BBG for short. It got dark soon though, so Tala decided to head back to the abbey. He made his way through a forest, but by then, it was already very dark outside. He decided to call out Wolborg to help him find his way. Unfortunately, he called Wolborg out of his blade when he was in a clearing, using the light of the full moon to see where he was launching. Wolborg turned into a Werewolf and devoured Tala. Millions of Tala fangirls (a.k.a. GOB, Lychee Fairy, Hiwatari-gurl, ect....) hunted Wolborg down to get revenge for destroying 'their' Tala.  
  
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*~* Spencer And The Name Change *~*  
  
One day Spencer was deep in thought.... "I'm supposed to be an evil minion of Boris's and Voltaire's... but with a name like Spencer, who would take me seriously?" Spencer decided that the only way he could ever be taken seriously was to get his first name changed. He went to court the next day to get the name changed legally... go figure. He went in front of the judge and handed him a large list of possible names he would like. The judge looked through the list and smirked cruelly. The judge handed Spencer a card with his new name written on it. Spencer went all around the abbey telling everyone his new name, but whenever he did they would burst out laughing, until he walked away. He went to bed, but first looked at the card again. It said: LAST NAME: Strop, FIRST NAME: Jacques. He didn't notice anything wrong with it.. (Think: Jacques Strop {JOCK STRAP, sounds like Jock Strap!!!} )  
  
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~*~ Rei ~*~  
  
(I know I already did Rei, but I had another idea for him! Just pretend he never died... and that he still has Drigger... and well, just pretend nothing happened!!!)  
  
Rei was bored one day. He had nothing to do. He already trained and tinkered around with Drigger. There was nothing on TV. And he was all alone. He decided to go for a walk, but... While on his walk, he tripped over a rock. He was sent hurtling into an old lady. The old lady punched him and sent him flying into a tree. The tree held him suspended by a branch with his hair had become tangled in. The branch had a family of squirrels living on it. The squirrels thought the hair would make a perfect covering for their nest. The hair was suddenly being pulled out strand by painful strand. The strands went to cover the nest. The nest became very comfy... And the Rei... well, he went bald and fell out of the tree and got a concussion and became mental and chased an imaginary mouse off an imaginary cliff and died... imaginably...  
  
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*~* Hillary And Evil Zeo *~*  
  
One day, Hillary was 'cheering' on Tyson... "TYSON YOU IDIOT! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT! WE'RE PRACTICING SPEED, NOT AGILITY!!! THEY'RE VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE STILL NOT GETTING IT!" Hillary continued to rant and rave. She was still ranting and raving when Evil Zeo showed up and demanded the Bladebreaker's Bitbeasts. Hillary spun around, with a major stress vein. She literally exploded, "I'M TRYING TO GET THESE SLACKERS TO PRACTICE PROPERLY AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING ANY MR.I'M-EVI-AND-I-DEMAND-YOUR- BITBEASTS!!!!!!!!! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN TRY AND STEAL THEIR BITBEASTS WHEN I'M DONE WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" By the time she was done, Evil Zeo sat whimpering in a corner, rocking back and forth with his thumb in his mouth, murmuring, "Me be good... yes good... let Hillary finish... yes... me be very good..."  
  
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~*~ Cyber Dranzer And Black Dranzer And Dranzer And Dragoon ~*~  
  
(Humor me, Dragoon is not dead here.)  
  
Cyber Dranzer, Black Dranzer, and Dranzer were all floating around in the bitbeast realm, when suddenly, Dragoon appeared and asked, "Hey, guys............................. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DRANZERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*BREATH*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR???" The three bitbeasts looked at Dragoon and said, "Dranzer is the real Dranzer. Black Dranzer is a copy made by Biovolt, Cyber Dranzer was made by Zagart." Dragoon stopped and stood still, he then said, "Uh, so now what?" All three 'Dranzers' looked at one another. Then replied, "We kill you." Dragoon died... no one cared... except Tyson, but no one cared about him either... It was a good day. A VERY good day.  
  
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*~* Grandpa Granger And The Dark Bladers*~*  
  
(Using the English surname because both start with G and it sounds better.)  
  
Grandpa Granger decided to go shopping for a new kendo stick. As he was on his way to the store, he was stopped by four creepy guys in dark hoods. They stopped him and asked him if he knew where Tyson, Max, Rei, and Kai were. Grandpa Granger replied, "OH YEAH, MY HOME BOYS ARE OUT DIGGING THE HOME LIFE WITH THEIR HOMIES. THEY'RE TAKING IN THE SWEETEST SIGHTS IN TOWN, CHATTING IT UP WITH THE FOXY MOMMAS I BET! MY MAIN MAN TYSON WILL PROBABLY BE DOGGIN OUT ON TRAINING AND CHORES AGAIN SO IF YOU SEE HIM GIVE HIM A GOOD OL' WHACK FROM HIS DEAR GRANDPA G, YO?" The Dark Bladers stood there for about ten hours after Grandpa Granger had left them. Finally, Sanquninex said, "Homies? Doggin?? YO??? And I thought we were odd..."  
  
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~*~ Kai And Tala And GOB And Lychee Fairy and Dunga ~*~  
  
(Hehe, this is fun! Me and LF in a story!!!)  
  
One day, Dunga was going for a walk when Kai called him and asked him for a battle. Dunga agreed and followed Kai's instructions. Kai had told Dunga to tie himself up with rope and lay facing traffic on a deserted road. Being the idiot that he is, he complied with Kai's requests. (Moron...) Mere moments later, Kai came tearing down the road in his car that had auto- pilot, so that he didn't have to steer the wheel, or have anything to do except look at the people around him. The people in the back seat were Lychee Fairy and Tala. Tala had his arm slung around Lychee Fairy and both were singing off key to the music blaring from the car. In the front seat, Kai and GOB (ME!!!) were watching their friends with amused looks on their faces. Kai's arm was slung over GOB's shoulders, and seemed extremely content. Suddenly, their car ran over something huge and very fat. As they continued to roar away, GOB asked Kai what had happened. He shrugged, and said, "Oh, we ran over that idiot Dunga." GOB shrugged and replied, "Ok, whatever." No one really seemed to miss Dunga and he joined Tyson in wandering the world aimlessly as ghosts because both heaven and hell forgot about them. They weren't important.  
  
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GOB: The end of that chapter, now read and review!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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